The Hounds of Winter
by Nofret
Summary: Zoicite reflects on his life past and present, lost love, lost life all with the music of The Hounds of Winter by Sting as a side dish


**A. N: **_first of, there's nothing new to this story, just that while I was translating it I found a TON of orthographic and wording mistakes and felt miserable enough to upload the corrections or not "show my face" on the net ever again. IF you hadn't read it before, then: ONWARDS and read away!!, I just hope you enjoy it. _

**_The Hounds of Winter. _**

_Mercury falling  
I rise from my bed _

_Dreams_, he though, _only dreams_, while impressive ivory towers melted away in the distance of memory along with a beautiful smile of bright blue eyes.

_Collect my thoughts together  
I have to hold my head  
It seems that she's gone_

He got out of bed, walking to the bathroom, he hated that class of dream, _Happy Dreams_, they only brought back the ever-present pain of that that would never be again, gods! he hated them! How he hated them! More so, ever since he got his memories back, knowing what he'd done, to his liege, to her, specially her, he'd killed her, she loved him, trusted him, and he killed her, it still pained him to think, to remember, to…

_And somehow I am pinned by  
The hounds of winter  
Howling in the wind _

He needed to get out, occupy his mind in something else, or altogether finish his misery, _yea right, and then you'll get the rest of the Shitennou knocking at Hades doors just to kick your freaking butt_, he though with a rueful smile on his handsome, albeit tired, face, his friends, the only ones he had left, other three traitors against their wills, the only ones that could, or would, ever understand, or even try to, what'd happened, but actually, who cares? Not him that's for sure, to him it was the same shit anyways.

_I walk through the day  
My coat around my ears  
I look for my companion  
I have to dry my tears  
It seems that she's gone  
Leaving me too soon  
I'm as dark as December  
I'm as cold as the man in the moon _

Hands in his coat pockets, coat collar high, as to guard him of the cold wind blowing, eyes on the grey and blue patched sky, **winter**, _her favorite season, wonder where she'll be for the first snow. Who's going to be with her, by her side, when that first snow flake falls? Not me that I can assure you, even if she wanted me there, I would still flee, **I** don't trust me anymore_. He closed his eyes; he shouldn't be thinking like that, he was not the only one in pain, but sometimes it was so hard to remember so, or even care about it, so difficult, more so while the wind sang in his ears, bringing back memories just as sad today, as the ivory towers of his dreams, memories of her voice singing to his ears, sweet words only for him to know, whispered in the dark recesses of the lunarian night, words of a long lost love, depressive words that once elated him beyond anything he ever believed possible, and are today mere stabs to his heart, a lot less material stabs than the one he had delivered to her heart, that damned day he had lost his soul at time with her flowing blood, running down his sword, his hand, his arm, 'till it hit the marble floor of the palace, joining the blood sliding down her own body, her beautiful body, once his and now…

_I still see her face  
As beautiful as day  
It's easy to remember  
Remember my love that way  
All I hear is that lonesome sound  
The hounds of winter  
They follow me down _

he had nothing, he didn't even know where she was, much less had a chance at her, catching her attention again would be next to impossible, had been the first time around, lest not mention her heart and soul, that he once deemed his for eternity, and had only damned for eternity his opportunities with on that dark earthless night on lunary ground, so far from both their homes, their hearts so far from each other, even in that consumed eight feet square space that became their resting place 'till summoned, her to her duty, him back to Metallia, to Beryl, to perdition and desperation, betraying the ones he still had, Nephrite's blood in his hands along with Ami's from a thousand years ago.

_I can't make up the fire  
The way that she could  
I spend all my days  
In the search for dry wood  
Board all the windows and close  
The front door  
I can't believe she won't here anymore _

He sometimes, ever the masochist, let himself get carried away in his dreams, those being his recollections of the Silver Millennium or his own fantasies of what today could, but wouldn't, bring, but always with the same shameful result, tears on his pillow, his head against the mirror in his bathroom, seeking some pace in the cold feeling of the crystal. The rest of the Shitennou wanted to live together, ever since finding each other less than a month ago, but, how could he? When his dreams were, more often than not, nightmarish reconstructions of a night none of them wanted to remember, and wished hadn't ever existed, how could he live with them? A constant remainder of that gone awry, He couldn't do that to them, but they kept insisting, he no longer knew how to keep them away, at arms length where he could not reopen their wounds, where he would not see them bleed, and cry or worst feel their pity, he knew, he knew he was the only one still blaming himself mercilessly, but things had been so hard for them and now she was forever lost to him, no matter what he did now, lost… forever.

_I still see her face  
As beautiful as day  
It's easy to remember  
Remember my love that way  
All I hear is that lonesome sound  
The hounds of winter  
They follow me down _

Her beautiful blue eyes, he had always told her that nights on terra were the color of her eyes, and they kept being that same gorgeous shade of blue, and her hair, she always though people didn't see her, but with that hair, she had to be blind not to notice people staring, men staring, the color of her hair might have been what called the attention at first, but past the first shock, only masculine eyes remained in her, even among her friends, her milky white skin, her pearly white teeth, her intense eyes (that appeared to be dissecting existence itself right before your own eyes). That's how he remembered her, oblivious to anything but her science and the people she cared for.

_A season for joy  
A season for sorrow  
Where she's gone  
I will surely, surely follow  
She brightened my day  
She warmed the coldest night  
The hounds of winter  
They got me in their sights _

And he had been one of them once, she had cared for him once, she had even loved him, like only she knew, and he could almost swear, like only she **knows** how to. She got under his skin, long before he even spoke to her, he'd been one of those men's eyeing her, her every movement, hanging from her every word, never seeking solace in loneliness, as he used to do (and still did even if he didn't like to admit it), no, more often than not, he couldn't even think of leaving her company, no matter how many persons were present, she was the only one he saw, his eyes never leaving her petite form, the only one he listened to, her soft melodious voice haunting his dreams.

_I still see her face  
As beautiful as day  
It's easy to remember  
Remember my love that way  
All I hear is that lonesome sound  
The hounds of winter  
They harry me down _

Yes, even back then, she was his obsession, his one and true treasure, smiling shyly at the sight of him after he'd finally found the courage to speak to her. Oh boy! Had he been harassed by his friends, "so _that's_ what you've been up to, being so quiet all the time", or, "lithe Princess Mercury? You dog! She's too innocent you'll corrupt her!", Gods! How he hated those guys sometimes! **Specially** _Jadeite_, the man didn't know how to keep his mouth shut to safe his life! And in all honesty he was sure the other blond man could give Princess Venus a run for her money when it came to knowledge of the gossip mill… still, it had come to a great surprise when they had hooked up, Ok, so he had openly, _very_ openly, pursued her, but she was so shy, and innocent, and not at all what he had though at first! She was pretty much open to any kind of conversation, as long as it would stay in mere scientific approach when it came to some very specific, very much of his interest, subjects, but he had gotten to her, and had gotten her, and for a while they had all been happy, 'till it was time to return to Terra; to protect Terra itself, his liege and her, he had gone, and had gotten back to her as promised, only… only that what she got back had been a monster, all his insecurities, weaknesses and defects, magnified 'till it was pure evil radiating from him in waves.

He remembered all, every single though that crossed his mind at those times, all those years, all he saw, all he _did_, even under Metallia's control, he remembered, so unlike the others, so screwed up, because he remembered all they had not and then some. Yes, they remembered the moon, the final battle, their deaths at hands of their soul-mates, their own killing of said soul-mates, but them, destiny had been lenient to them, they only had hazy memories of their service to the Dark Kingdom, just to think of his _relationship_ to Kunzite brought shivers, and not the pleasant kind, down his spine; he sighed heavily, he was beyond repair, and stuck with three shmucks that had no idea what they were asking for, and he was tired of fending them off, and he would do as they wanted, and he would try to live again, if only for their sake, the sake of the only friends he'd had in two lifetimes (excepting Endymion), it was the least he owned them… to _try_.

**Authoress Notes: **

_So here, my first ever Sailor Moon fic, second ever **written** directly on English, first to be **actually** published before I had a Spanish translation first, and first time I've kept the lyric for, not the first nor the last to be inspired by a song, in a very wayward kind of way sometimes, so patience **please**, I barely remember the anime, and have ever so much as seen the manga, forgive me for any incongruence, (save a few literary licenses), but feel free to point out what ever you feel is not right. _

_Thank you so much: _

**_Nofret_******

****


End file.
